I went to the mall yesterday and it was really rough and has left me with an identity crisis.
My husband and I have had a lot of medical issues in the last 4 months and we’ve just been taking care of each other. I am finally able to take a breather and get out for a little bit.
Yesterday, I decided I’d go to the Mall for the first time in 6 months and buy some things I normally would have bought online.
I left the house at 10:00 and told my husband I’d be back by 4:00 p.m.
Within 3 hours I was home with a bag from Dillard’s carrying a $100 dollar blouse I didn’t even want.
So, what happened?
I was minding my own business and was just strolling through Dillards, the closest store to parking and I walked past the Chanel and MAC counters (my favorites) and bought a couple of things.
As I went into the mall, I saw a kiosk with tragus earrings and I could not believe it because tragus earrings are hard to find in this town and I usually have to order online.
So I was really excited. I would say the guy selling me these was maybe 19 years old.
I picked out 3 earrings and he was wrapping them up for me and I saw this really cute crystal teddy bear. He saw me looking at it and this guy, who has to be the worst salesman ever says, “Would you like this for your granddaughter? ” Really? I look like a grandmother? It was as though time stopped. I mean, wth? Really? I look that old?
Maybe it was the fact that I wasn’t wearing any makeup or extensions????? I just stared at him and went away. Far away, He really pissed me off.
I was like, listen you big douche, just give me my earrings and leave me alone. I wanted to give him some advice about sales, but I decided he didn’t deserve my sage advice.
I’m serious. I was just so hurt, So, my husband commiserates with me and says, “Oh my gosh. That’s so harsh.”
Then I told him I had to go to the pet store on the 2nd floor look at the little puppies and that took some of the sting out of the insult but then I felt bad for the little puppies so I was back where I started from.
I then wandered around and somehow ended up at the Food Court where I couldn’t wait to get a gyro because this Petticoat Junction town I live in now, has nothing good to eat.
The 2nd part of this day is that there were young women handing out samples from this luxury skin care store I had never seen before and, like the idiot I am, I actually entered the store. I was the only person in there. Each product had it’s own glass stand to show off the gorgeous jars of creams.
It looked something like this picture above.
I must say that this was so soothing just to be in there. That’s what I really needed. It just felt really calming.
Enter #2 man in my day. He greets me and seems happy to see me even though I looked like a grandma.
HE: Welcome to ___________.
ME: This stuff looks really pricey.
HE: But of course…it is (not said: You simpleton)
ME: What are you reaching for?
HE: We have to apply it with a brush
ME: Don’t use a brush on me.
HE: May I ask why?
ME: I have OCD and that thing is just filled with bacteria.
HE: Oh. I have OCD also. Where are you from?
HE: I like big cities. I have also lived in big cities.
So, clearly he has salesman skills which include his saying he likes everything I like.
.No matter what I said, he said that he had or did it also.
Anyway, he takes this scrub that I knew I would never buy because the granules were too big and I knew it would really break me out (That and the fact it was about $200.00.)
Just for the fun of it, I asked him how much I’m looking at and he said that depending on the size bottle of skin care I wanted we were looking at between $150,00 and $300.00 for one jar.
Anyhoo, he places this scrub on the inside of my arm and it smells sooooo good and he slowly rubbed it in and I swear to you, I would have given every penny I had on me for him to continue doing that. It was that wonderful and smelled so good, I could feel the kiosk insult fading from my brain.
Then he said:, “You know this is what you need; for your dry skin and blackheads.”
What is wrong with these people? Seriously. By now I was done. Went home. Detailed my trip and just slumped into my chair with the ugly-ass blouse I now owned.
I mean, how did the mall even let someone as hideous as myself into their inner sanctum. Was I going to scare little kids with my old wrinkles, dry skin and blackheads?
So, when I recounted this latest incident to my husband, I could see that he was trying not to laugh because it was just such a constant barrage of insults that I had gotten in less than 3 hours.
Then he felt bad because he said: ‘Well, maybe you should have just bought something from there and you’d feel better.”
He genuinely felt bad for me.